the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
