i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
