i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
