whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
