the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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