My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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