too bad you live with your parents still
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
