Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
