if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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