Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
