i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Randomize
