If that was your dad, he is hot
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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