I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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