He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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