Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
