I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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