hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I intend to get homeless drunk
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
