Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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