I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
