Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
