That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
