have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
