Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
