so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
