i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
