I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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