literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
