I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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