if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
