Heybabeimwearingurpanties
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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