Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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