When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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