R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize