Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There are leaves in my underwear?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
