Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
