he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
