I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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