Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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