Pappa wants mamma naked
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
