he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
