My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have aggressive nipples.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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