the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
