this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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