I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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