His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
