THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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