The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
