4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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