Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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