I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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