So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
