sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
