are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
