i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
