Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
