Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
