He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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