Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
