these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize