4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
