I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
