yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
