There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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