Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize