i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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