I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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