I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
