I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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