Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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