There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
