If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
