Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Someone came in the potted fern
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
