I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize