I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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