He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize