That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
