You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
